Before the lockdown, as our lives were so hectic
and active in our extroverted world, I started my Introvert Interview series
with the hope to connect with more quiet souls and raise awareness about
introverts as a personality type.
Since the lockdown, I have been less verbal about
introverts as life slowed down a bit and introverts were more comfortable at home.
Working from home definitely decreased most of my introvert problems yet it brought up some other ones.
As I missed connecting with my online
introverted buddies, I reached out to Caroline from @the.quietstrength for an
Introvert Interview and she gladly accepted to talk about her journey to
discovering Introversion.
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| Caroline, The Quiet Strength |
1. When did you find out you were an
introvert?
It was such a relief when I first read about introversion, in my
twenties sometime. I’d always known time and space to myself was essential for
me but I still beat myself up. I felt so guilty for wanting time away from
others and ashamed for being different.
2. Which period of your life did you most suffer from introversion thinking that something was wrong with you?
Teenage years. None of my peers seemed to value the same things I
did and I spent a lot of time alone. I remember sitting at a party (feeling I
should make an effort, parties didn’t interest me), with everyone around me
getting more drunk and less interesting for conversations. I retreated into a
worn library copy of Thoreau’s Walden, cross legged in a sofa, while someone
spilled beer into my boot. Can I go home now?
3. Do the people around you know about your personality type and respect that?
They do. My family have always been supportive even though they
didn’t always understand it, and my small circle of friends are a beautiful,
carefully curated group that know the value of introversion.
4. How do you get along with extroverts at home, work or in a relationship?
Over the years I’ve learnt to respect both what they and I need. I
give time and attention when I have the capacity so that when I don’t, that
investment tides me over. I no longer work in a workplace but when I did my
favourite thing was to regularly pop by colleagues’ offices and stand in the
door. I could offer interaction in a way that suited me then - curious and warm
but brief. And with a clear escape route. In my personal life what has worked
best is self compassion. I’ve worked hard at overcoming the guilt and shame.
When I accept myself and feel love both for the people in my life and myself,
the way I present my boundaries is accepted much more easily by them. I keep
explanations brief, I don’t need to excuse myself, and I keep calm and happy
about it. This is how I am, our values may be different but that’s a beautiful
thing.
5. How do people usually characterize you or call you out?
People appreciate my calm and accepting character, but they also
pick up on the independence and that can be perceived as cold and aloof, I know
that. People close to me have felt hurt by me needing to go off on my own. I’m
shy and highly sensitive as well, so even though I haven’t been told outright
it’s clear I’ve been labelled overly sensitive at times.
6. Are you satified with your current job? If not, what does your dream job look like?
I am. It’s my dream job, working for myself coaching other quiet
folk. Introverts, highly sensitive, shy, lacking in confidence, chronically
unwell. People I’ve always noticed and championed because I know what it’s like
to have all this richness inside but feeling there is no space to express it in
your own gentle way. It’s beautiful to see them trusting themselves more and
more and refusing the pressures and labels put on them. Blooming into who they
always were but didn’t acknowledge.
7. What are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?
I love inner exploration and writing. Finding out about human
psychology and the reasons we do what we do. Every impulse, however
undesirable, is there for a reason and it’s a passion of mine to find it. To
really listen and practice radical acceptance until the knots I see in me and
others begin to soften and unravel into something purposeful. Finding our power
and meaning often paradoxically comes from listening to the parts of ourselves
we’re most ashamed and afraid of. Walking in the woods and fields is the other
thing I give many hours to. My greyhound Finn, that I’ve just adopted, is a
perfect fit for that kind of life. A long walk in nature and then he’s happy to
sleep next to me while I write.
8. What do you hate doing that sometimes you have to do?
Anything administrative that’s important to get right. Dealing
with authorities or filling out forms makes me feel extremely nervous and guilt
ridden. Phone calls. If it’s not with friends (I spend hours every week with
people I adore) then forget it. ‘The best time to call me is text message’.
9. What would you like people to know more about you and Introversion?
Just because I’m introverted, shy and highly sensitive doesn’t
mean I can’t do so called extroverted things and enjoy them. Engaging and
entertaining a group of people for work, attending a concert or striking up
conversations with strangers are considerable challenges for me but I love the
joy it gives me and it’s worth it. I won’t do it often though, and I certainly
won’t be pressured into it. I can’t stand being placed in a box or feel obliged
to do something purely due to social norms. I won’t apologise for who I am and
I won’t conform but it matters to me a lot that you feel seen, accepted and
respected for your needs. I hope to receive the same.
10. If you have written or found any Introvert-related posts, please share.
Caroline's page is a cozy place to escape to for simplicity and beauty. Her content is so uplifting for introverts and educational for extroverts.
Make sure to follow The Quiet Strength on
If you are an introvert (blogger) and you would like to be featured on my blog by answering 10 Questions about your Introversion Discovery Journey please contact me so we can discuss all the details.
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